"L I L L Y"

My series, titled "L I L L Y", was inspired by my grandfather. “She is so delicate, like a flower”. These are the words my grandfather used when he held me for the first time. Because of these words, and because my mom always liked that name, my parents named me Lilly but with two L’s. The photographs in my series display my own vulnerability, strength, softness, and realization, as they illustrate my own transformation. Moreover, white lilies symbolize purity and rebirth. There’s a common notion that flowers are “feminine”, “fragile”, “beautiful”, and being told, “You are delicate and beautiful as a lily flower”, was a constant occurrence in my childhood. I’d always feel bothered by people calling me delicate; being called delicate made me feel so fragile and wilted. I was conflicted between my inner strength, how I wanted to feel, and how I physically looked. I wanted to be strong, and for the longest time, I thought being feminine was the weakest thing I could be. My name was a constant reminder of this weakness. I wanted to be more like a sunflower with its strong thick stem. As my journey evolves, I have come to realize that femininity is about being graceful, sensual, strong, confident, and comfortable in your own skin. One person does not need to be one thing. You can be strong and delicate at the same time. I found my way back to my name with a new understanding of femininity, strength, and sensuality. I am now blossoming with confidence. To show this visually, I wanted to create an empowering and beautiful depiction of my journey, a human journey, illustrating the growth that is taking place, not only internally but also externally. I started with desaturation moving towards something that is full of life. A darker first image that slowly becomes brighter. The growing levels of color throughout the photographs depict the growth I have experienced throughout this process. I intentionally left in all body hair, freckles, and beauty marks to testify how comfortable I now am in my own skin. Just as a plant grows through light; so do we as humans